1. |
MPF (Movies)
00:49
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I want it to x 2
I want it to be like in the movies (where it’s real)
Why can’t you just always do it to me, so I can feel
Small but in charge
Small, but like, large
Big but underneath
The one who decides when you’re on top of me
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2. |
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You’re getting sad that your dad is getting older
while I’m over here just like:
“I like to reach over and touch your shoulder”
I have this fear that I’m only getting colder
But then I reach over and touch your shoulder
Sitting on that chair by the door in Sushi California
You’re standing there waiting to pay
I think to myself: “hey, that’s the feeling I’m looking for, yeah”
When you reach out and touch me in that way
Kinda like not looking at me, just looking away
And it makes me feel like I can just be me and it’ll be okay
And I hate that you can make me sad
But I love that you don’t care if the money’s bad
And I hate that you’re overthinking it
But come to think of it, I’ll admit that I love a sinking ship, so
Get me on there as it goes down so I can
Pretend not to care, while you pretend to want me around
Just remember me in my bed
And don’t think too hard about what I said
You’re getting sad that you don’t think that I’m perfect
While I like to feel bad that you feel sad and I deserve it
I have this fear that I’ll always wanna work it out
Even though I have this doubt and can’t reverse it
Standing by the belt in the line at the Beer Store on Dupont
Getting 6 tall cans, my turn to pay
I think to myself: “hey, that’s a feeling I know I don’t want”
When you reach out and touch me in that way
Kinda like not looking at me and miles away
And it makes me feel like I can’t be me and gotta make you stay
And I hate that you can make me sad
But I love that you don’t care if the money’s bad
And I hate that you’re overthinking it
But come to think of it, I’ll admit that I love a sinking ship, so
Get me on there as it goes down so I can
Pretend not to care, while you pretend to want me around
Just remember me in my bed
And don’t think too hard about what I said
You’re getting sad that your dad is getting older
while I like to reach over and touch your shoulder
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3. |
Tea On A Plate
01:16
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Tea on a plate, it’s getting late but I’m not done
but I work in the morning and I live with my mum
And there ain’t nothin wrong with some good clean fun
But I like the way you wear those chains, it’s kinda hot
And the way your shirt on top has come undone
Tea on a plate, it’s getting late, I’m done at 5
Won’t you come and get your tea before I die
So you can drink it, think of me on your ride
And I can wonder if we’ll each get home alive
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4. |
Murphy's
02:09
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That sad winter, you know the one, that you like to talk about because it makes you a certain way… this certain play you put on when pretty girls are around… where you’re broken and profound. I’ve awoken to the sound of your unattached case, that woody clang…I could’ve sang but I didn’t because I won’t give you that. You’ve given me plenty but when you sent me off it broke me a bit. And you rope me back in and I’ll play along but I won’t sing the whole song to the end. I’ll pretend to an extent until I’m spent and you’re hungry for more and I’ll think of the shiny wood on the floor and that’s enough for me, it’s enough for me… it’s enough for me (it’s enough for me)… it’s enough for me – it’s enough for me – it’s enough for me, it’s enough for meeeeeeeeeeeee… but it’s not enough for you anymore.
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5. |
Trust Me
02:47
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You can trust different people for different things
You can bring someone anywhere or know that they’ll sing the right note
Some would hold your life in their hands and keep it safe
But never call you just to let you know that they were late
Some you can trust to laugh at all your jokes
And others not to break your heart, but rarely both
You can’t trust anyone with everything
But you can trust almost anyone with almost anything
But no one not to die
And no one not to lie
And no one not to get shy
But you can trust me not to cry
When you leave without saying goodbye
You can trust your intuition in different ways
You can love someone forever or just during a phase you go through
You can trust the ones you love or you can trust you never can
You can always trust your gut or that it’ll always land you nowhere
Love is kinda strange, it’s got a range, you can fall and not know why
But there’s no one you can love so hard they don’t die
And no one not to lie
And no one not to get shy
But you can trust me not to cry
When you leave without saying goodbye
You can trust me not to die x 8
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6. |
Walking Feels Slow
02:18
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Focus on the smaller things and the big stuff will fall into place
I ask you a simple question about your face
And you say: “I can’t see it”
Well, I guess that’s the case
So I’ll let you have your space and let the bigger things just fall into place
Focus. Focus but don’t concentrate
I don’t like this pace, I don’t like it
But I don’t wanna race or anything, just to be clear
Even though I’m near, I’m close
I’m so close I’m gonna finish
What? I don’t know
What am I close to?
Something new… something new
If each bite is new is it still the same fruit?
Can it be whole?
Can each bite have the whole soul in it?
I don’t like this
It feels like a race and just to be clear: I wanna win it
I’m near, I’m close, I’m so close to the end
But I ate each bite like the whole fruit so I’m content
Not sad to see it go
Not sad to see it go, no
That’s what I want but not what I feel
Take the wheel (I’m talking to me)
Walking feels slow
Walking feels slow and biking feels free x 3
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7. |
Don't Think
04:55
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I fall into you as I fall out from you
I am so into you and so out of you
I am calling out to you
So you’ll stop falling out of love
I fall back and then I fall down
You can’t keep track of me, I’m all around
I am falling out of you
You’ll stop calling out to me soon
But if you do
Then I will lose
You make me choose
Are you here forever or just my muse?
Why can’t you be both?
You know what it’s like to feel low
I know I know
It’s no way to live and that you have to go
Just know that sometimes I feel like just kid
I don’t think I know (I don’t think I know) what love is
Even though I sing all about it
So I just sit. I just sit.
And think about (and think about) how
I didn’t know it then and I don’t think I know it now
And I don’t know if I ever will
But my god, I want it still
I am falling into you as I fall out from you
I am just so into you and so out of you
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8. |
Not Killing Bad Energy
03:39
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We each played our sets after each quarter
I hoped that you’d forget I just played covers in my corner
I’d never met someone up close whose songs I thought were good
And I hadn’t written any of my own I understood
Took another year for us to cross paths again
You came into that hole in the basement that I worked at then
And we both agreed to play a song together through our friend
Who neither of us really liked but both felt should pretend
I guess I kind of wanted to go
When I did you wanted to know
And you wanted it so bad that I couldn’t hold you back
So I let myself go through it even though
I knew it wasn’t it right and that one day I even might
Leave at the height of it all
I thought I could deny it if I didn’t meet her
But now that she’s gone and I’m free of your hook:
you talk about music like a high school teacher ruins a beautiful book
That night that you touched me and I kept it in
You didn’t think that I would ever bring it up again
And then a few months later when I finally did
You blamed me for bottling it up like a kid
I never wanted to go
It’s not like you didn’t know
But you wanted it so bad that I didn’t hold you back
And I let myself go through it even though
I knew it wasn’t right so I finally picked a fight
And I left at the height of it all
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9. |
Leave Me
02:14
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I’m no angel
I’m no saint
I get sad the room’s a different colour
when I’m covered in paint
I’m no master
I haven’t figured it out
I don’t smooth out the plaster
And with the bumps come my doubts
It’s too late for sandpaper
The paint’s already on
I’m a song writing waiter
just let me serve you a song
Don’t make me fix what I’ve broken
That’s way too much work
And it would take me knowin
That I am a jerk
So leave me dissatisfied
with my bumpy blue walls
leave me to grieve to cry
but don’t let me fall
because if I fall
then I’ll fall apart
and then I’ll be small
just like my heart
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10. |
Death I
01:25
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I never liked cats that much
But I really loved my cat growing up
He was my best friend
And I named him Desmond
After that song by the Beatles
Cuz I was dumb when I was little
I had no siblings, had no brother
Just had my cat there was no other
He knew me and I knew him
It was like he was human
I’d pet his stupid little cat head
He was so much more than a pet
Then they took him to the vet
And pressed his paw into ceramic
And then I got it when it dried
Painted grey and black and white
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11. |
Death II
01:39
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When she died I didn’t go
Heard her advice was to stop and smell the roses
Never cried (only alone)
But I sighed in front of them so that they’d know it
So that I seemed normal and then
The funeral was formal (something serious had happened)
But there’s nothing normal about outliving your children
No one should have to do that
So what the hell were ya doin?
I heard a song the other day
Where the singer was talking to someone
And in the middle, he gave away
That the person he was talking to was death and I was undone
So that’s what I was just doing there
But I don’t really care for it
Cuz this song is for no one.
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12. |
Rolling
03:33
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I’m looking (for a home x5)
cuz I’ve (been alone x5) for so long
And maybe you could be my house but not my home
Cuz baby I can be myself with you but I’m not alone
I know I’m not the only one, the only one, the only one, the only
And I’ve never wanted to be the only one, the only one, but I never
I never thought it would be this lonely
To be with you when I know there’s another
And I do, I do wanna be your lover
But I wanna be your one too
The one who you come to
At the end of the day when you feel alone
Cuz I want to be, I want to be, I want to be your house, your house, your house
I wanna be your house and your home
Cuz I think (I’m falling x4) for you
And I’m up here thinking of calling, of calling you from the woods
And maybe I could, maybe I could learn to be okay
I could turn the other way when you play, when I play, your songs
When we look into each other’s eyes, when we look into each other’s eyes for too long
And I could be with you, even though there’s another
And I do, and I do want to be your lover
But I want to be your one too
The one who you come to when you feel alone
I want to be, I want to be your house and your home
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13. |
Staying Mellow Blows
04:05
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I left my place for Montreal
I needed space, I didn’t mean all summer
You came with us to the Capital
Locked you down for those three dates, you’re such a runner
When we got to that ghosty town
The sun was down and all the fog was gone
I felt sick, I didn’t talk on the way, you clowned around
The next day you thanked us all for driving you to Saint John
As we pulled away from the bus
I felt lighter cuz I wasn’t ready to confront it all
Back then there wasn’t much to discuss
But as we travelled south and west and then back east into the fall
In my favourite city but playing the wrong place
At some stupid speakeasy, an imposter again
I was angrily and without explanation taking space
Missed the first band on the roster as I rolled back in at ten
And I felt like an asshole many times but really then
Why was I even there if not to take in other humans?
But when I felt my worst I am sure was when
I decided to reach out but not to see how you were doin
That was all the way in Quebec
And I want to slowly work my way through it
The first time I stopped and breathed for a sec
Was in Washington, DC at the Dove Lady set
Hot Springs was heavy even though we swam and drank
All I could think about was carrying you home
I felt like I was swimming in a rotten old fish tank
Playing for a hundred people in a sweaty bar alone
Oklahoma, Las Vegas, Los Angeles and Davis
I started breaking down and thought about some buses back
He could feel it so he rattled off everything he gave us
By Arcata I had lost it and in BC I collapsed
And then I got back up as we turned around back east
And I counted up the time it had been six days and five weeks
And I was 26 and as lost as I’d ever been
We crossed from Maine into New Brunswick and I felt a bit like me
Pantoum was the one that hurt the most
It was where you called me by her name
At that point I had already been coast to coast to coast
But with you I would have gone a longer way
So to prove that to you, I wrote you that nasty letter
I wanted to hurt you like you had hurt me
And I told you not to write me back like I somehow knew better
And it killed me but I wanted to be free
But it didn’t set me free, it just came around to me
And by the time that we got back to Montreal
I was scanning every face in the crowd just to see
If you’d shown up in spite of it all.
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Eliza Niemi Toronto, Ontario
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