1. |
If My Songs Made You Cry
03:07
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I don’t have any big ideas about
What I want from anything
And if you showed up in town here tonight
I don’t know if I’d say stay with me
But if my songs made you cry, then
Doesn’t that mean that you love me
And if we’re together most of the time, then
Doesn’t that mean this is something
And do you think about me sometimes, well
Doesn’t that make this not nothing
And wouldn’t you cry if I suddenly died, well
Doesn’t that mean you wouldn’t
Dread a stop and chat with me
On the street someday in a hypothetical future
Where we don’t know each other that well anymore
And we’ve both had many more lovers since
And that makes me kinda scared and sad to think about
Does it make you scared or sad at all too?
I don’t have any big expectations about
What I think this should be
But if you showed up unannounced here tonight
I’d ask you to stay with me
Cuz if my songs made you cry then
Doesn’t that mean that you love me
And if we’re together most of the time then
Doesn’t that mean this is something
And do you think about me sometimes, well
Doesn’t that make this not nothing
And wouldn’t you cry if I suddenly died, well
Doesn’t that mean you wouldn’t
Snub me
At a party someday in a hypothetical future
Where we don’t know each other that well anymore
And we’ve both had many more lovers since
And that makes me kinda scared and sad to think about
Does it make you scared or sad at all too?
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2. |
Who Needs Headphones
03:37
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Once my friend Jacob he said to me: “Who needs headphones? I’ve always got music in my head,” and he went and danced away from the bed. I thought: “shit, I can’t relate to my friend” (I like hearing all the parts in my ears instead). I said: “do you ever feel like you’re baseless?” And he kissed me on my face — it was so tasteless and red — and I forged ahead and haven’t replayed it yet till now.
Sweet Jen I hate to see you sad
I know it’s been bad before
Just something seems more out of whack these days
I’ve been far away for a while and I know it
I love you I know I don’t show it
As much as I could or should or would if I wasn’t
So caught up in all my own shit.
Once I — or a guy I know, I’m too shy to show that I’d like him to know that I like — took me midday to see a show about life. We walked through the snow and as we got there he broke into a skip then a jog and I thought about how it was playful and odd and I’d never get caught doing that.
Sweet Jen I hate to see you sad
I know it’s been bad before
Just something seems more out of whack these days
I’ve been far away for a while and I know it
I love you I know I don’t show it
As much as I could or should or would if I wasn’t
So caught up in all my own shit.
Once I was lit, I can remember it
How I felt intimate with my family and death
And I couldn’t hide behind my instrument
Or a guy or my wit, so I gave into it
And I finally felt close to all of my friends
And I wanted to tell them I loved them, and then
I dug up the day and the finite with it
And the night I was lit just existed to me.
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3. |
Oh No
02:19
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She’s just turned on
by being a mom
and there’s nothing wrong with that
She likes falling in love
and writing sad songs
about when it all starts to go bad
Is someone that beautiful
really that beautiful
If everybody thinks so?
I think you are because when I first met you
I said to myself: “Oh no”
I’m in the place
where we made love and waste
from the haste that we did it with
You’re gone in case
You awake and you find
your face too close to mine
You know, I wouldn’t mind
But that’s not what defines our love, is it?
Or isn’t it? I don’t know
I can say I won’t go
You know I can’t say no
You woke up, headed out
I woke up by myself
knowing you needed help
Thought I could do it well
Is someone that beautiful
really that beautiful
If everybody thinks so?
I think you are because when I first met you
I said to myself: “Oh no”
The course of true love never did run smooth
But is that about him or is that about you?
Yes I’ll admit I’ve always been confused
But why can’t you just love me and also just lose?
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4. |
Billy May
02:48
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Birthday in February like all of my favourite friends
The first thing I worked out when I found out about you then
I was always terrified it would happen again
So much so that it took a whole year to let it in
Now it’s not so strange, I’ve had time to collect my wits
But all the signs in Abbotsford make me a little sick
Still I’m pretty quick to laugh at all the weight of it
Until I stop and count up all the years I’ve had to miss
Not that that’s good or bad, it’s just the number six
Still don’t understand the way my sense of it’s not fixed
I don’t think my brain and heart will ever truly mix
Or if I’ll tell my mother that I went ahead with this
Part of me believes she’s kinda known it all along
But then again she could be shocked and appalled by this song
No one in my life thinks that I did anything wrong
Except for me right after he said I could not have gone
Just another thing that happened, made me feel alone
Something else that showed me I could be free on my own
Maybe when I killed you I killed any sense of home
But I’ve always felt the most myself when I’m out on the road
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5. |
Exercise
02:33
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Silver and sulphur from the air combine
Form a thin layer that people think makes it worse
That stains it, creating silver sulphide
Should I strip it from the surface or chemically reverse?
A strange sense of calm
My ears have been wet for way too long
Soon all the hair that you’ve touched will be gone
And I’ll start writing happier songs
Roll my neck and swerve into your tire
You stay up like stone and I crumple to the street
I say I’m fine, we both know I’m a liar
You scoop up our bikes, run back, carry me
Stop to get some food on the way home
Gotta stop eating this crap or else we’ll die
But it’s all that’s open late at night when we’re stoned
Soon we’ll eat well, exercise
A strange sense of calm
My ears have been wet for way too long
Soon all my hair that you’ve touched will be gone
And I’ll start writing happier songs
Ligaments on the outer side
Were stretched beyond their range of motion
I stretched it out deep and wide
From my salty ears to the ocean
R for rest, not walking on it
I for ice applied
C for can’t just talk about it
E for everything died.
A strange sense of calm
My ears have been wet for way too long
Soon all my hair that you’ve touched will be gone
And I’ll start writing happier songs
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6. |
Different
01:49
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We are intertwined, bound up like vines growing on a round roof outside (kinda tangled but real nice to look at).
Healthy outer layer with shade on the inner side
grossed out by the slime
rejoin come dinner time
and talk about what we learned on the sunny side
Running down my inner thigh
onto the sheets I ripped and dyed
and gave to you to hide your bed instead of mine
Cup of black coffee and the smell of rot in the air reminds me of another in a good way (not in the bad way that I’m so used to these days). I can taste clean fried eggs with salt and pepper cooked into them and the well-kept iron too, and I feel peaceful and sad in a good way (not in the bad way that I’m so used to now).
I’m a different kind of happy now.
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Eliza Niemi Toronto, Ontario
booking inquiries:
CAN / US: info@vainmina.com
EU / UK:
rich.tinangel@gmail.com
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