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Glass

by Eliza Niemi

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1.
R1 03:36
Ryan I’d be lying if I didn’t tell you how I still think about it now it shouts at me and down my throat And sometimes I pretend it doesn’t I pretend I wasn’t done so wrong it makes me cold You think I’m bold but I’m just cold and that’s what makes me bold, I think Ryan I’d be lying if I said I loved you now But I’d be lying too if I didn’t tell you how I think about it and I don’t doubt it at all I was ready not to fall and now I’m stumbling all over myself Yeah, sure, soon I’ll eat well, exercise, and care about my health But for now I don’t care much about anything other than the fact that you seem to love everything about me singing my sad songs, it makes me bold makes be bold, but I’m still cold maybe when I’m old, I’ll heat Ryan I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t scared But I’d be lying too if I pretended not to care whether I could bear the weight of giving in to what could break this cold That would be bold, to break this cold But I don’t know if I’m that bold So I guess when I’m old, I’ll be cold
2.
Flip 01:51
I'm old now and I find that it's nicer to be kind than to be cold all the time to be free to call you mine and be able to see through it I'm a fraud you always knew it even if I don’t do it on purpose but that's just on the surface getting deeper makes me nervous but resisting doesn't service me anymore The many more lovers that I talk about and sigh they no longer make me cry because finally I am free to call you mine I think about you all the time in my sleep and in the day I keep thinking how I wouldn't have it any other way I'm so sorry that I'm fake sometimes It's just how I've been trained, and I know that it doesn't justify my opaque little lies But Ryan, for you I'm gonna try it gonna be myself and buy it never turn off or be quiet or ever let you deny it I think about you all the time in my sleep and in the day I keep thinking how I wouldn't have it any other way
3.
Glass 01:59
Alone again, alone. I’m old again, I know. I’m young but I’m not sold. Daniel died and I don’t care as much as I think you might. I’d have lied if I implied I’d lost my taste for the night life. A careful special sad breakable but strong, like glass I’ve loved you all along and soon all your hair will be gone, but you’ll always be in my songs (it’s true) Driving around sunny Montreal in the silence of it all, I stop. And I start to feel tall and as things all start to fall into place and start to feel good I have room to see you’re gone Feel closer to myself, and now start missing you as me, and how that hurts more than anything, but at least it’s real.
4.
If we went to a party, we both know I'd have more fun But you would find the one that you're supposed to love And maybe it would be me, but I'd be lost in it all and you would find the one that you're supposed to call (supposed to call) The worst part of it all is how he talked over beauty or how you're pretending you ever saw it in him truly You're just like him, in a way You stay away to stay sane He broke my brain But you broke my heart just the same But I'll stay it out, don't get me wrong, I'll always stay And I'll weigh it out in every song, in every way And at night I'll lay down by your side after the day And I'll pray for you to say to go and stay away to finally go away The worst part of it all is how you thought you knew beauty or how you're pretending you ever saw it in me truly Because I'm just like him, in a way I stay away to stay sane He broke your brain But I broke your heart just the same I know that you loved me but didn't know how So I'm left with this feeling of wanting it now Don't worry, I don't mean that I want you back I just mean I want something that I've never had And now that I finally start to move on I hate you for leaving and love you are gone Now that I'm leaving you want me again And that's when you start to remind me of him I've started to grow so defeated and thin I don't know if to go or stay's giving in The worst part of it all it how I thought you taught me beauty or how I'm pretending I don't still think you did it truly Because I'm just like you, in a way I need to say to stay sane: You broke your brain but I broke my heart just the same.

about

A collection of songs written between April and December of 2019.

credits

released April 17, 2020

Written, arranged and produced by Eliza Niemi, "Big Fun Party" co-produced by Louie Short

Eliza Niemi: voice, guitar, bass, cello, keys
Evan Cartwright: drums
Matthew Cardinal: keys and sounds on "R1" and "Glass"
Ryan Al-Hage: guitar on "Big Fun Party" and keys on "Flip"
Louie Short: aux percussion and additional keys on "Flip"

Recorded and mixed by Louie Short at Dining Room Sound, Toronto (additional guitar and vocals recorded by Eliza and Louie at their respective houses)
Mastered by Phillip Victor Bova, bova sound, Ottawa
Stained glass and photograph by Max Parr
Album design by Eliza, layout by Eliza and Ryan

Thanks and love to Ryan, Bren, Louie, Matthew, Evan, Ali, Mark, Bucky, Mom, Dad, Claire, Janet and Mandy

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Eliza Niemi Toronto, Ontario

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CAN / US: info@vainmina.com

EU / UK:
rich.tinangel@gmail.com

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